I'm really into asian looking animals
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
