when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
