dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
