Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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