Kiss
Puke
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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