There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize