I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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