i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize