I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
