I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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