sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
