Nicole vs. Life
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
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