maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
