I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i believe in u and ur pee
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
