when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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