The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
