I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
