We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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