I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize