I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize