omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
