i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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