after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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