her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
