I am puke
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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