you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
