I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
