its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
