every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
