Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
