someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
