I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
