Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I have grass duct taped all over my body
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
