I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
