Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
