I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
tell me about the eggs
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