My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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