Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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