Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
