My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
