i don't plan on having that self control this summer
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
