Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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