remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Randomize
