Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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