He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
