I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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