So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
