So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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