Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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