Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
