how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
