I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
