THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I have feelings that need drinking.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
