Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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