The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
