I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
