Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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