He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
