people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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