i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
