I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
