Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
