it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize