Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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