I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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