I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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