I'm really into asian looking animals
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
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