Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
