No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Holy shit dude........stairs
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
