is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
