My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
