you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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