i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
