help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
