It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
