He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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