While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Small penises have feelings too.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
