i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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