Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
