I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
