What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
